The Deep Fried Mars Bar
by Crystalline Green
Summary: Castle's not the only one with a penchant for dubious food concoctions you know…


_It seems I have been bitten by the bug. I have the undeniable urge to write stuff. I now know what it is to not be able to sleep because there are people who wont stop talking in my head, who are intent to live their lives inside my imagination and seem to wake up to do so when I should be sleeping . I also seem to be enjoying the whole process. So here we are... I don't think it's mental illness._

_Playing with other people's toys always was more fun…_

* * *

**The Deep-fried Mars Bar**

Castle wrestled with the door to the loft, juggling bags, keys, and a bunch of flowers for Kate. He'd never bought her flowers before, though he's not quite sure why. Exiting the airport terminal though, he had passed a florist displaying bouquets of fabulous giant sunflowers. There was no debate, they were over the top, bordering on ridiculous with their huge happy heads, but fun and gorgeous. He simply had to buy them and knew Kate would love them. Succeeding in unlatching the door without decapitating the flowers, he muscled his way inside, finding himself in a way too quiet loft.

He ditched his suitcase and jacket close by the door along with his laptop bag calling "Kate?" just in case he was mistaken, but he knew she wasn't there; could feel the empty quality of the space. It felt expectant in it's silence, waiting to be filled with life and love, the place became animated when his family was there, especially so when she was residing within it's walls. Castle carried the flowers to the kitchen island, laying them down temporarily while he began the search for a vase, he looked in cabinets and that's when he spotted her note propped up by the coffee machine.

She'd scratched a big jaunty 'X' by his name on a sheet of folded paper. Inside was the following message: 'Hi, had to pop into the precinct, nothing major, just dropping off some paperwork. Still all yours tonight. Call when you're home, I'm bringing dinner back. Coffee machine is ready to go… Love you, Kate.'

He checked the filter, already loaded with fragrant sweet and fruity ground beans, she had filled the water reservoir too, so he hit the switch and let the machine do its thing while he continued the search for a suitable vase for his comedy flower purchase. In the end he settled on a large marbled green and blue glass jug which was almost certainly a purchase of his mother's. This was the first time he'd ever had occasion to use it himself, but it was perfect for this one. He trimmed the flowers and dropped them into cold water fortified with the feeding solution, which the florist had supplied with his purchase.

Happy with his work, he pulled his phone from his pocket. Finding no further message he brought up Kate's number and connected his call. She picked up almost instantly, no surprise, he knew she would have been waiting, they'd not seen each other for three weeks. Book tours were always a bind, but this was the first long one he'd had to endure while they had been together. He tried to limit the amount of time he spent away when at all possible, but this time had been unable to wriggle away from a lengthy national tour. At least now it was over, he had fulfilled his contractual agreement and would be free for the foreseeable future. What was a little surprising was that she had chosen to be out when she knew what time his flight got in and therefore the likely time of his arrival back at the loft. Then again she had never been good at sitting still and waiting for something to happen, Kate Beckett did not wait, she got up and bent things to her will, even time, which she made move faster by keeping herself constantly busy, especially during times of stress and boredom.

"Castle, you're back?" she asked from the other end of the line, with a hopeful lilt in her question, 'please no delays' she thought to herself, three weeks without him was too long, under any circumstances to be separated from him.

"Yes, I am and still missing you." He replied not quite able to keep the disappointment from his tone.

"I'm sorry," she said truly meaning it, but she had a plan and it would be well worth the extra time it would take to set it up, even though she ached, physically and mentally to be with him again. "You found my note?"

"I did and thank you for the coffee."

"One down, couple of hundred still to go? I'll be home soon, I just on my way to grab dinner now."

"What are we having?" Castle asked out of idle curiosity, he didn't really mind, he just wanted her home as soon as possible.

She hummed as if trying to decide whether to tell him, or not "Well, I guess you're just going to have to hang on a little longer to find out." she teased.

Beckett's refusal to budge by way of reply spiked his interest sharply. He let out a disgruntled moan and could almost hear her rolling her eyes while she snorted a laugh through the airwaves at him, he was ever child like and always loved. "Really, I won't be long, should be there in less than half an hour." She said happiness at the thought of having him home adding buoyancy to her spirit, inflecting her words. "Drink your coffee." She instructed "I love you Rick, see you soon."

"Can't wait. Take care Kate, I love you." He dropped the phone back into his pocket once he heard her break the connection. Then taking a leaf out of her book, he busied himself with unpacking while he awaited her return, attempting to ensure that 'less than half an hour' would not make good on the potential to drag horribly.

It turned out she was right, on both counts. She did make it back, in only 26 minutes and he didn't dwell too much on the added time away from her. He had very nearly completed the task of squaring away luggage, he even had a load of washing running in the machine. He was just stowing the case back in the closet when he heard the door thump shut and her calling "Hey Castle, you ready to eat?" just seconds after. "Hurry up, this won't wait!"

He was already on the move at the sound of the door and flew to her enveloping her in a massive hug. "God, I missed you." He said before he took her mouth in a hungry, bordering on desperate kiss, which she returned with equal fervour.

The kiss between them was not the only hungry thing it seemed. Kate's stomach rumbled loudly enough that she knew he would have heard it too; it caused her to smile with a giggle and break their kiss. "I'm sorry" she said, "I haven't eaten much today, and the smell from this bag…" She closed her eyes, sniffed and shook her head "it's just too much!"

Castle's awareness had been focused solely on Kate, her smell, her taste, the feel of her hair in his hands and the heat of her body against his own. Before she mentioned it he barely registered that she was still holding a white plastic bag in the right hand, or that it was filling the loft with the unique aroma of hot greasy goodness emanating from it's contents. But now he had noticed it, he felt his own appetite rising and his stomach pinch with it's own desire to be filled. Whatever was inside, he wanted it, almost as much as he wanted Kate, she however seemed to have no such debate, she turned away from him to the deposit the food on the kitchen island.

It was then she noticed the sunflowers and her smile widened. She spun back to meet him "Oh Castle, you beautiful man, I love them." She hugged him once more and leant in for another kiss, still as hungry as the first "Thank you" she breathed while she ran her fingers through his silky hair. "Can you put the kettle on?" she asked "I really want a cup of tea."

"Tea?" he asked shocked at her request. Never before had Kate forgone coffee in favour of tea.

"Oh, for this, it has to be tea…" Kate said still not telling him what dinner was. He had half a recollection that the bag had large red and blue logo printed on one side and which she had - probably not by accident - placed face down. She noticed him quizzically regarding the bag, and squinted her eyes at him "No peeping Castle."

He sighed resigned to being kept in the dark a little longer, then he made his way to the counter to fill the kettle. "Do we even have any tea?" he asked.

She tilted her head and flicked her eyebrow "I just happen to have picked some up on the way."

"Tea for the lady." He nodded.

Kate rustled inside the bag, pulling out two paper wrapped parcels along with a cellophane wrapped box, which she unravelled before levering the cardboard lid open. "Want one?" she asked grabbing her favourite mug.

Castle shrugged "You seem sure it has to be tea, so I guess so."

Kate smiled, gave him a teasing wink then pulled a second mug for him before dropping a teabag into each. She then carried the mugs to him where he was waiting for the kettle to boil. He reached for one and sniffed inside catching the smoky essence. "What kind of tea is this?" he asked. He was no tea connoisseur, he was more of an expert on Coffee. Tea was something he'd not really developed a taste for, and he didn't think that Kate had either, but as ever, she had the propensity to surprise.

"English breakfast tea. Make sure you pour the water as soon as it's boiled," she instructed "and no milk till it's brewed for a couple of minutes."

Wheeling away she began rummaging in first the cupboards, then the fridge. She brought out condiments, then milk and butter. As instructed Castle swiftly poured the boiling water into their mugs, then brought them to the breakfast bar where it seemed their mystery dinner was taking place. He took a seat next to her. She had not set out any plates. In hand she had a single pallet knife, the only other cutlery she had laid out were two teaspoons. "Ready?" she asked. Castle nodded the affirmative. "Good." she smiled broadly.

She grabbed the two largest parcels, placing one before Rick and then she took the other for herself.

"It's like shabby Christmas." he said eyeing the white paper wrapped package.

Kate snorted a laugh again "Castle?" she said, with just a hint of impatience "Shut up and get on with it." evidently she would wait for him to begin before she opened her own parcel.

He tore at the small tab of tape securing the wrapper and then unrolled it, just a little slower than he would have done otherwise, he could sense her impatience for the food and was now enjoying himself in teasing her despite his own desire to know and to eat. The paper unravelled on the diagonal, the smell becoming stronger as the paper thinned and at last, his prize was revealed from beneath one final layer of grease proof paper covering the food, still steaming hot, and oh so appetising.

"Fish and chips, right from the paper," Kate said revealing her own and identical portion "eaten with your fingers. The only way to go."

The chips were chunky, golden and shimmering with a slight sheen of fat on the surface. This was just not Kate's usual type of food. Chinese would have been their usual take away option. But not today and his brain was working over time to make sense of her choice, he knew this wasn't a random occurrence, there was a story behind it, a reason, but he also knew he would have to wait until she was ready to let him in on it. He felt sure that she would.

Kate broke off a piece of her fish. Castle heard the crunch as she tore through the batter and watched her pop the morsel into her mouth. She hummed as she chewed with her eyes shut in gustatory delight. It was then that he was struck by a moment of understanding and knew he had discovered the first layer of the puzzle. She had been waiting for this moment for quite some time, holding on to it, eking out her desire, tantalizing herself with the thought or having this, right at this very moment, with him.

While she was still lost in enjoyment, Rick followed Kate's example. He tore off a similarly sized piece off his fish and took that first, however he didn't dare take his eyes off her by closing his own, he didn't want to miss anything not even the most minute detail, because when it came to Kate, the smallest thing could be the key. That didn't mean he failed to appreciate the flavour of the food as he chewed. The batter was crisp, deliciously permeated and balanced with both a hint of yeasty sweetness and vinegary tartness. The fish was soft and delicate. It had broken away with the grain of the creamy white flesh, giving him a perfectly bite sized piece, it was well seasoned and utterly delicious.

After only a couple of seconds she swallowed and turned to look catch him still studying her intently. "Good?" she asked, knowing the answer already.

"Very" he agreed, "the batter is amazing."

She nodded "They make their own beer batter," she explained "to keep it extra crispy and it's delicious of course." She returned to the bag, which it seemed had still not given up all of its secrets. "Speaking of which, I also got you this." She placed a tall, bright yellow can next to his still untouched cup of tea. "You might prefer that to the tea." She said with a smile. "I'll get you a glass, you'll need it."

He picked up the can to examine it more closely and in doing so he discovered it was already chilled. 'Boddingtons Draught Bitter' it advertised with a small wooden keg surrounded by the name & a small bee illustrated to depict looping flight all around the cylinder. Kate retuned with a curved pint glass, branded with an identical horseshoe shaped logo to that on the can. Oh yes, she had planned this all right, in great detail, but she played it oh so subtly, retaking her seat and getting started on her chips.

Taking a moment to stir tea having added milk, she watched with mild interest as Castle popped the tab on the beer, releasing it with a rushing sound not dissimilar to the sound of a brewing coffee machine, it also began to foam slightly from the newly exposed opening, so he swiftly brought it to the glass, which he instinctively tilted so the beer poured down the side. The liquid pooled within gently in a swirling cloud of slowly clearing amber fog, forming a thick white head at the top of the glass. He poured the whole can in one go and while he waited for the beer to settle, he smelled the ale within, it was both hoppy and malty with the slightest note of spice. He nibbled on a chip, then took his first sip of beer, it was creamy and smooth in texture and provided a perfect match to the food.

Kate had her hands round her cup and by the looks of things, she was enjoying her brew every bit as much as he was enjoying his. "Thank you Kate, this is perfect."

"I knew you would like it." She once again reached for the bag, which seemed to possess Mary Poppins' carpetbag like properties. This time she tipped the remaining items out, and at last he could read the logo on the bag 'A Salt & Battery' it declared in bold type, set in a blue wave across a red and white nautical life ring, itself carrying the legend 'Fish and Chips'.

Now deposited on the counter were another two paper wrapped items one large, the other considerably smaller and a small white polystyrene lidded cup which she opened first. Inside was a vividly green gloopy substance of which she poured half all over her chips, stopping the flow with a twist as she lifted it off. "Mushy peas?" she asked offering the container to Castle.

He was enthralled by her little game, and was willing to play until the end "In for a penny…" he said with a shrug adding a healthy dollop to his own mound of chips. They tucked in together, again he made sure to keep more than half an eye on Kate while she ate. She devoured several of her now green frosted chips one after the other, following with more of her fish. She was really getting into it now, he could tell, the teasing was nearly over, but she was not quite ready to give it up just yet. With each bite she made sounds of total enjoyment as she munched away and sucked the mushy pea residue from her fingers.

Next she unwrapped the largest of the two remaining paper parcels, revealing two round bread rolls, very soft and white underneath, golden on top with a light dusting of flour. She opened them both up with the knife and spread them liberally with butter handing one off to Castle as soon as she was done.

Now only the small parcel remained unopened, and it taunted him with its secret contents. She of course observed his coveting gaze; full of desire to know, to understand, to have the purpose of all this revealed to him once and for all. She saw how his fingers twitched in between bites of his food, and could sense the temptation to reach for the prize coiling within his mind and in his muscles. "Castle!" she snapped sharply having recognised the cobra like poise of a man about to strike. She shook her head scornfully, "That one is all mine."

He withdrew his hand, and drooped his head in defeat and also shame, she was winning and she knew it. She knew, he knew, she knew and that would make it worse for him. She could feel it burning within him, saw how it made him jiggle his leg agitatedly on the stool's footrest, and his eyes flick from place to place while he tried so hard to not crack completely and just ask.

All these things - each one of his tells and their cumulative effect on him - made her grin with a uniquely wicked quality, oh how she was enjoying herself, watching him wind up progressively tighter. This was all working perfectly.

He took a pull on his beer, focusing on the smooth, cool texture as it slipped down his throat, trying to regain a small measure of his composure. Meanwhile Kate was filling her bread roll with a single layer of precisely laid out chips. Once the whole surface was covered she shook in a little salt and folded the lid of the roll to make a sandwich. "Kate..?" Castle felt compelled to ask what she was up to.

"It's a chip-muffin Castle," she replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the word. She gave it a squash for good measure causing melted butter to ooze slightly from the sides. She then proceeded to take a huge bite from it and while she was still chewing she upped the ante, she practically moaned "and oh god it's good!"

Castle had to steady himself with a deep breath, remembering all the times before that she had teased him, provoked such a reaction from with a suggestive action or remark, one day she was going to kill him. He hurriedly filled his roll to make and sample a sandwich of his own. Where Kate led, he was bound to follow, and damn it, she was right. Chip muffins were awesome. He huffed out a sound of pure indulgent satisfaction "Best. Sandwich. Ever." He said feeling like they had indeed cracked it.

"Oh Castle, if only you knew…" she said, once more opening the muffin, now adding a healthy amount of fish on top of the chips, she detached the top half of the bread and used it to soak up the mushy pea pure, but rather than replacing it, she left it facing up, her sandwich still not complete.

Then, at last, she reached for the forbidden remaining item, which represented both the source of his torment and the cipher to unlock this mystery.

She unravelled it oh so slowly. Rotating it over and over in her left hand, feeding the strip of unreeling paper away with her right. He felt like it surely took her a full minute to get to the point where he knew this must be the last wrap, though in reality he knew it had taken only a fraction of that long. And it was the last one, with one more deft roll of Kate's dexterous fingers another battered chunk lay free in her palm. Kate regarded it and sighed heavily, this was it, this was what all of this had been leading up to, what the whole thing was about, what she truly desired. She lifted it to her nose and inhaled its sent deeply and this alone was enough to make her moan once more.

Castle's mouth was watering even tough he had no idea what he was looking at here, only that it wasn't more fish. He concentrated, searching for more clues. He thought whatever it was smelled slightly sweet, but it was masked by the lingering odour from the rest of the food still hot in front of them. She licked her lips, her own anticipation building to unbearable levels.

Kate acted swiftly, the decision made; she broke the battered chunk and pulled the two halves of the now oozing item apart. They remained connected by a strand of stretchy, viscose substance, which looked somewhat familiar but also totally alien coming from a crispy coated, semi molten, deep fried lump.

Castle could stand it no more; he had to know "Kate, what the hell is that?"

"This," She grinned smugly still eying her prize "is _my _deep fried Mars bar" She brought it up to eye level and judging by the hunger he heard in her voice, the possessive nature of those words, and look in her eyes, he was sure she was about to devour that half in one. But she bypassed her mouth, her tongue working slowly over her lips, she once again took time to savour it through its scent only. Castle gulped involuntarily, she was too good at this. Indeed she always said he was too easy.

She flashed the wicked grin once more, all teeth and teasing mirth, though it couldn't quite disguise her genuine hunger and eagerness to have this, soon. Her eyes twinkled as they connected with his and she bit her lower lip holding it between her teeth momentarily, but then her resolve broke and she was in motion once more.

Castle watched in stunned semi-disbelieving fascination as she smooshed both halves of the battered bar into the already piled high bread, then she lidded it with the pea soaked top. Without hesitation she lifted the sandwich and bit down, instantly humming as she veraciously devoured the first mouthful of her hulking, insane sandwich; containing a combination of flavours which by all measures of good taste, should leave her heaving, not rolling her eyes back into her skull in appreciative bliss while she chewed. But the latter was the reaction she displayed.

If not for his own morbid compulsion to see and understand, he would have been way more repulsed than he actually felt. Not that he was entirely immune, but his focus was keyed into decoding Kate's message and he himself too bewildered by this whole charade to fully give himself over to the revulsion he knew would be overwhelming if he allowed himself to dwell on the constituent parts of her handheld meal. And that half formed thought was coming from the inventor and purveyor of the Smorlette.

She took another bite, this was not merely a ruse, she truly wanted it. And while masticating this second mouthful she looked up to see his face frozen in absolute dumbfoundment. "What!?" she exclaimed rolling her eyes, executing the gesture with super sized exaggeration "Look, I've been thinking about this all day. Alright?"

"Not just today though." he said, his mind just now beginning the race to catch up.

She smiled at that, delight at having hooked him. Now to reel him in. She shook her head slowly "Not just today." She admitted. "But this is my first craving, I thought I should share the moment with you."

"Kate…?" but the question died on his lips, he was overcome with a memory dump of information, of rapidly dawning revelation. And just like that, it all came together; No coffee for her, normally when she knew there was coffee on, it would have been a given that she would help herself to a cup and then there was the tea. He scanned the counter for the box. 'Yorkshire Tea' it had emblazoned on the green and blue box 'Decaf.' There was only one beer, one glass, disguised by a prediction that tea wasn't to his taste, further muddled in the deception of a double bluff, offering and supplying the tea anyway, knowing he would not be able to detect the telltale signs of decaffeination within that beverage as he would have done easily if it were coffee. She was never going to drink alcohol, but she cleverly slipped that one past him too, ready to smack him that moment of apprehension only when she was ready for him to know. To allow him in with the big reveal, again on its own it was too confounding to give the game away. Her calculation, it was perfect "…are you saying…?" but already he had tripped himself up on the thought, wanting so desperately for this to be what she was saying, to not be told he'd misunderstood and frightened that he had.

But one look at her beaming face told him everything he needed to know. Her eyes were swimming with joy and hope, it was spilling over with the happiest tears she had ever shed. "That I'm pregnant?" she asked with total confidence, and without any shadow of fear or doubt. "Yes Rick, I am."

That was it for him, he stood and scooped her off her stool in one fluid motion. They hugged and kissed, lost in one another, in the moment, their shared hopes and desires for their future, for their family.

"I love you so much Kate."

"I love you too Castle," she said the truth spilling from her "but you know what I really want?" She pulled back to look at him once more. "I really want to finish my sandwich."

* * *

_I almost feel like I should apologise for this. But only almost…_

_These people deserve a happy future, and I truly hope they get it. There have been increasingly heavy hints of babies for over a season now, and while 'The Good The Bad & The Baby' was not at all what I expected (especially from Beckett), I still think children will be part of their future & they'll be great, even if Castle is not quite The Baby Whisperer he thought he was._

_'A Salt and Battery' - the chip shop referenced here is real (& Google maps says it's quite close to the location of Castle's loft) though I have never been there, nor to NYC so sorry for any and all __inaccuracies_. I do however know fish and chips - and round my way, this is how they do it. Though not so much the deep fried mars bars, that's a Scottish thing (even if they weren't, I would never intentionally put them together), though they do indeed sell them at 'A Salt and Battery' along with the Boddingtons beer, or so their website reliably informs me. 

_I am not sure how Kate knows about all this stuff, only that she clearly does._


End file.
